He Never Said Goodbye
by MQ1
Summary: He left without saying goodbye. He didn't know she'd die without him. ADMM


**He Never Said Goodbye**

**_by: Minniequill_**

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**Disclaimer: **I do not own any of the Harry Potter kingdom. No copyright infrigement is intended.

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Hogwarts' new Headmistress rose to her feet and addressed the students for the first time as leader rather than Deputy. It was not a position she cherished and she kept a careful lid on the tears that were threatening to emerge.

"Welcome to Hogwarts," she said surveying the room. She noticed briefly that her Scottish lilt was more obvious that usual; the sure indication she was fighting back tears before continuing, "I have no doubt that you are all famished. Please eat."

She clapped her hands and sat back down. Hagrid reached over and gave her hand a brief squeeze. She gave a watery smile at the gesture before returning her attention to the food in front of her. Never had she felt less like eating. Sensing the other staff members eyes on her, she grudgingly filled her plate and pushed the food around aimlessly.

"You need to eat your food not play with it, my dear," Filius Flitwick said gently.

Minerva nodded and gave a brief smile. "I know what I'm meant to do."

She replaced her knife and fork on the table and interlaced her fingers together. Ever since he had died she had only eaten when it was absolutely necessary. And it showed. Her already slim frame had wasted away to nothing and her three bottom ribs were prominent at all times.

"Minerva," Poppy Pomfrey's voice broke into her thoughts and a small salad was thrust in front of her, "I'm worried about you. Please eat."

A lump rose in her throat and she shook her head, "I'm sorry, Poppy, but I can't. I just can't."

The school nurse gave an exasperated sigh, "When did you last eat, Minerva? I know you haven't eaten today or the day before. It's not healthy!"

Minerva snapped. She'd dealt with the Ministry trying to close Hogwarts, she'd just introduced new students without him beside her, Harry Potter had left to fight Voldemort leaving a gaping hole at the Gryffindor table and she was being hounded about things as trivial as her health.

"I'm fine!" she shouted not caring that her voice echoed around the Great Hall, "There is no need to worry about me! I'm not the one out there risking my neck, am I? No, I'm stuck here because my husband wrote in his will he wanted me to run the school in his absence! Now, leave me alone!"

Poppy looked at her shocked and Minerva clasped a hand to her mouth. She had just revealed a secret she had kept for over thirty years in a fit of rage. She gave a straggled cry and sat back down.

"Continue," she said to the students. They looked at each other clearly worried about their Headmistress but began to eat again nevertheless.

"Minerva?" Poppy said cautiously.

"I mean it, Poppy. Leave me the hell alone."

Poppy Pomfrey wisely shut her mouth and returned her attention to her food. She kept shooting surreptitious glances at Minerva who was now transfiguring various kitchen utensils into statues. One figure was prevalent and the statue Dumbledore stared at her through its marble eyes.

"Bastard," Minerva muttered transforming it back into a fork.

Hagrid looked shocked and Madame Pomfrey gave a gasp of realisation.

"Oh, Min," she said placing a hand on the woman's shoulder, "We didn't realise."

"You were never meant to," Minerva retorted. Upon seeing that the students had finished she rose to her feet once more. "As I'm sure you're all aware there has been stringent security measures placed on the school. I urge you in the strongest manner not to try and bypass these. Those who do can expect immediate expulsion."

There were gasps at her pronouncement which she drowned with her next words.

"Prefects, please show everyone to their Common Rooms. If anyone needs me, I'm in my office."

She didn't wait for a response and strode away from the teacher's table toward her new office. As she entered she looked around the now barren surroundings. All of his silver instruments had been disposed of without hesitation leaving bare spaces on the shelves. A tartan throw over the couch was the only personalised item in the office.

Upon her entry his voice echoed from his portrait, "You need to eat, Minerva."

She gave a shriek of rage and conjured a glass of water which she promptly hurled at the portrait. He ducked and re-emerged staring at her sadly.

"Minerva ,please," he pleaded, "You have to understand…"

"Understand what? Why you didn't tell me what you were doing? Did the fact we'd been together for over thirty years mean nothing to you?"

"Minerva!" he said sharply, "You know it meant the world to me."

"Well, you've got a funny way of showing it!"

She threw herself on the couch and cast a silencing charm on the portrait as it opened its mouth to speak.

'I want none of your explanations, Albus," she said angrily, "My point is that I've just had to introduce new students without you there. And that I never got to say goodbye. One simple word you didn't allow me. Goodbye."

She gave a swish of her wand and a bottle of the finest scotch flew out from one of the bookshelves. She took the lid off and began to the drink from the bottle relishing the warmth that spread in her body as she swallowed the amber liquid.

A knock at the door interrupted her and she glared at the offending door before rising unsteadily to her feet.

"Come in," she called.

Madame Pomfrey entered the room and took one look at Minerva and immediately summoned the bottle from her grip.

"Alcohol is not a good idea on an empty stomach, Min," she said softly.

Minerva glared at her but nodded, "Neither is not telling your wife the secret of the most evil wizard's demise but _he _still did it."

She turned at glared at Dumbledore's portrait. He looked pleadingly at Madame Pomfrey who took in the situation in an instant and crossed the room and supported the now-swaying Headmistress.

"Did you drink all of that just now?" she asked looking at the half-empty scotch bottle.

Minerva nodded, "And I would have finished it if you hadn't come in," she said accusingly.

Madame Pomfrey sighed and dragged the inebriated woman into the private quarters that adjoined the office. She had never been there before and gave a gasp at the splendour of the surroundings.

"Beautiful, eh?" Minerva said recognising the look on Madame Pomfrey's face, "I was the same when I first saw them." She gave a giggle that was very uncharacteristic of her, "You know when I first saw them? When I was Head Girl and Albus had just been made Headmaster."

Madame Pomfrey's eyes widened as she realised what Minerva was saying but she disguised her reaction immediately.

"I'd had a crush on him since sixth grade," she was saying, "It wasn't until seventh year he returned my feelings. We were married the day I turned 17."

She gave a sob and threw herself at the four-poster bed. "I'm 48-years-old now and he didn't say goodbye! After 31 years Poppy! _Thirty-one years!" _

Madame Pomfrey knelt beside her and gently pulled her hair out from its bun. She was shocked at the length of the hair that cascaded down her friend's back. In all their years of friendship she had never seen her with her hair down.

"Come now, Min," she said soothingly, "Let's get you changed."

Minerva stripped without protest and Madame Pomfrey suppressed a shudder when she saw Minerva's anorexic body.

"Min, you're going to kill yourself if you keep this up," she said as she helped her into a silk nightgown.

"That thought really doesn't bother me," Minerva said matter-of-factly.

She curled up on the bed and closed her eyes looking eerily similar to her animagus form. She was asleep almost immediately. Madame Pomfrey sighed and returned to the office where she looked at the portrait of Albus Dumbledore.

"You've killed her you realise?" she said softly.

He nodded and bowed his head.

"So long as you realised," Madame Pomfrey said sadly before exiting the room.

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Extract from the Daily Prophet:

_The body of newly-appointed Headmistress Minerva McGonagall was found today in her chambers. The cause of death is thought to be extreme malnutrition. No foul play is suspected._


End file.
